What a long two (whoops) months it’s been since I last pulled a blog post up from the dregs of my inner life and slapped it out there into the endless internet.
If I’m being honest (which I almost always am) it’s been a struggle just to keep my head above water since about April. Between hand pain, work slowing down, money troubles, bug troubles, Georgia HEAT (so… hot… so… humid…), trying to keep my writing on track (and failing), and about a half-dozen other poor-poor-me things, I’ve just been coping.
A few months back I saw a doctor who told me quick as a finger-snap that my wrist and hand pain is carpal tunnel. YIKES. Let me tell you… as an aspiring author, someone who has only ever dreamed and worked towards writing for a living, being told that your body is sabotaging you is not fun. So I’ve been popping anti-inflammatory medication, wearing hand braces, stretching, massaging, resting, wax-dipping, and praying, praying, praying that my hands will just get their crap together and quit hurting.
I’m a bit skeptical about the CT diagnosis, to be honest, but that might just be denial. For now, I’m coping. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel like a death sentence for my writing at the time. And on my worst days, it still feels like that… just a little bit. Soon, I want to share my tips and tools for coping with CT (allegedly — OK, see, maybe denial) and still pursuing writing. Maybe I can help others out there who are struggling just like I am. Or form a support group or something. I’ll make cookies. Or pie.
Mostly, I’ve been limiting my typing as much as is possible for someone who gets paid to type and writes with the hopes of getting paid to type something different. To that end, I just haven’t wanted to use my typing energy on blog posts… But I couldn’t just let this blog sit here abandoned.
On a SUPER happy note, I have been writing again. For the past five days. The prior two months, I just couldn’t do it physically. I filled my notebook with some handwritten pages, but that was the extent of it. I missed out completely on July Camp NaNo because of my hands–but it’s all good.
September 15th is my self-imposed deadline for finishing this first draft. And despite everything, I think I can meet it. I feel energized, motivated, and–for the first time in a few months–not emotionally beaten down by my hand/wrist malady.
No medical condition is going to stop me from writing. They could amputate both hands and I’d still find a way, because I was born to do this. I feel it in my bones.