It’s always struck me as a little bit crazy how quickly my mindset about writing can change.
On Saturday, I felt empowered and awesome. I was all, HECK YEAH I CAN DO THIS. BRING IT ON. I wrote an entire journal page to capture the feeling, so that on days when I don’t feel that confidence and motivation, I have a reminder.
Yesterday, I finished the read-through of my partial manuscript that I’m gearing up to finish this month and next month through NaNo. It’s the one I can’t get my mind off of, so I think it’s the right project to pursue. I felt really accomplished and had a fairly well-crafted idea of what problems to address, where to take the story, etc.
Today, after a full day of working, I sat down to work on writing… my computer had other ideas. So I ended up spending nearly four hours addressing computer problems after the computer would inexplicably not turn on, then did turn on, but nothing was happening, and then I was dragged down into a whirlpool… anyway, after a system restore that did nothing, countless restarts, and reinstalling essentially all of my software, the computer is up and running again and I’m left wondering if I’m still going to write tonight. (Also my computer decided it no longer was able to connect to the internet in the middle of this blog post… I’m feeling a conspiracy.)
Besides wishing that this stuff would never happen, I wish it would happen on days where I wasn’t motivated to write in the first place. Because I was READY… four hours ago. I knew what I was going to draft. It was going to happen.
Now I’m exhausted and crabby, have a headache, and am wondering if this is just a sign from the universe telling me to find something else to do with my life, ’cause writing ain’t it.
Off to eat graham crackers and ponder and hopefully — hopefully — write.